POETRY: Unbalanced Feelings By: N.D Semako

If I smile, you say am making jest of you,

^{If I laugh, you say I don't take things seriously,
If I frown, you say am always negative,
If I try to talk, you say I nag.
 The smile on your face leaves me with curiosity,
Even the sun smiles when it sees you laugh,
But it leaves me with question within my heart,
Be frown to correct my mistakes,
To say the things that sweetens my ear.
 If I keep male friends, you would say am promiscuous,
If I keep female friends, you would say am feminist,
If I keep young friends, you would say am immature,
If I keep older friends, you would term me 'old school'
 To be more closer to you than your shadow,
I get jealous of the winds that ripple through your cloth,
I get jealous of your friends,
Because no one knows what it takes to hold on to a treasure.
 If I eat well, you would say am a glutton,
If I eat less, you would say I wish to dry up myself,
If I drink alcohol, you would refer to me as a drunk,
If I avoid alcohol, you would term me 'kill joy'
 For all I care,
Modesty is all I ask,
For our children to take after you in the good act,
To be a good cook and not a beer parlour agent,
May we raise our glass of wine as our happiness lighten up the sky.
If I shower you with attention, you would say am clingy,
If I don't, you would say am not appreciative of your love,
If I call you, you would reply me as if am a leech,
If I don't call you, you would say am pushing you to other girls.
 The rains of your love makes the flowers of my heart bloom,
Your attention makes me feel I can't live without you,
With the fear of losing out my independence to you,
Call my phone and make it ring,And let's make the other girls jealous.
 If I study, you would call me a bookworm,
If I don't study, you would term me unserious,
If I acknowledge you in public, you would term me a showoff in public,
If I don't, you would accuse me of being ashamed of you.
 Not really sure how to feel about it,
For you stand out like a white rose,
You talk and makes the wind listen,
Even shadows hold their breath,Hold my hands and let's walk along the street, Showing off the green light of our love,
For the unbalanced feelings will not take us anywhere.
 For how long would I keep trying to love you?
Can you treat me a minister's child like you treat me?Is it because am an orphan?
Was your love declaration a trap?
 Loving hurts,
I know all of these scars will bleed,Loving heals,
I know both of our hearts believe,
Cause you're the best thing that has ever happened to me,
Watching you smile as your gaptooth glows like the ray of sunshine,
Lean on me cause we're the family we've got,
All of the stars will guide us home,
And I will keep loving you till the moon is no more.}

^{__N.D Semako writes from Lagos state university.}